You’ve read our 10 beauty commandments [and if you didn’t you should read it here!], but we couldn’t leave you without our top 10 top sex rules, courtesy of adult sexuality expert and sex educator Dr. Charlie Glickman. Thou shalt not head to la cama before reading this!!
1. Thou shalt use lube
Lube is one of the easiest and budget-friendly ways to improve sex, says Glickman. “A lot of people think that using lube means that a woman isn’t turned on, but lots of things can affect vaginal lubrication like medications, changing hormones, anti-depressants, long-term smoking, even antihistamines.” He suggests trying one of Wet’s Personal Lubricants.
2. Thou shalt try anal sex
Don’t knock it til you try it! Some of us might cringe at the thought of his thing getting anywhere near our culitos, but the anus is packed with tons of nerve endings, says Glickman. He suggests taking anal play very slow. “Be sure to use lots of lube and if it hurts or is even uncomfortable, stop. Don’t force it-—anal play shouldn’t hurt!”
3. Thou shalt never skip foreplay
Give each other plenty of besitos—and don’t forget to try oral sex. Not only does it prep you for the big O, most women actually can’t reach an orgasm just through penetration. Glickman suggests trying different styles during oral sex to see which one works best. “When we stick with one technique, the body gets used to that and it feels less exciting. Changing it up keeps the attention focused and raises the energy,” he says.
4. Thou shalt bring in the toys
A lot of guys are afraid a sex toy will replace them, but they’re really just tools! “They’re like cordless screwdrivers-—they make it easier and faster to get the job done, which means you can do more fun stuff,” Glickman says. Go to Babeland.com to check out their bestsellers.
5. Thou shalt know your partner in and out
An important key to good sex is knowing what your partner likes. Glickman says don’t be afraid to ask! Try to give them two options each time. For example, if you’re having oral sex you can say “Do you like it better this way or that way?” This way you get a feel for what they prefer whenever you try something new.
6) Thou shalt focus on the journey, not the destination
“When you get caught up in having sex in a particular way, or in having the most amazing sex ever, it’s easy to forget to have fun,” Glickman says. Don’t worry about whether your partner is getting ready to climax or if you are doing a “good job.” Relaxing actually helps you both climax faster and you’ll enjoy it more.
7) Thou shalt try a new position
Seriously, don’t be a little viejita and stick to the old fashioned missionary position. “Sex is a lot like food. You never know what you like unless you try it,” Glickman says. Check out Cosmo’s sex position of the week page.
8) Thou shalt use your words
Sometimes we want something done a certain way, and we just don’t know how to tell our guy, like if he isn’t doing so well “down there.” (link to Eduardo’s post) “I’ve always said that the best way to get what you want is to ask for it. One good formula is to say ‘It would feel amazing if you would…’ or ‘I love what you’re doing. Could you also…,’ Glickman suggests. The goal is to ask without crushing your macho’s ego!
9) Thou shalt darlo duro y darlo suave
Ramp up and ramp down! Don’t just stick to fast or slow sex. “Instead of always adding more intensity or stronger pressure or bigger motions, change it up—it’s a lot more exciting,” Glickman suggests. But when you’re getting close to an orgasm, stick with what’s working!
10) Thou shalt remember to breathe
“Sex burns a lot of calories and holding your breath while you’re at it is like holding your breath when you’re at the gym,” Glickman says. Inhaling and exhaling deeply can increase the pleasure and make your orgasms stronger, and if you don’t have to worry about the kids or neighbors hearing you, don’t be afraid to make a little noise!
Article by Ariel Nagi at Cosmopolitan For Latinas